Looking for Balance

The Original 'Fawlty Towers' rejcetion letter -
Sometimes, the people in the know - Don't know shit!

Yes, trying to find some balance. The scale has certainly been tipped one particular way for a very long time. How to remain hopeful when the odds are stacked against you is our eternal struggle, isn't it? Everyone's going through it. So I can't expect things to change just because for me, I don't, I just hit a wall last week. I'm still leaning up against it, catching my breath having slammed into it. The thing about hitting a wall is it forces you stop, think and reevaluate, maybe even change direction. New strategies are needed. A new plan of attack. A new line of defense. Time to regroup.

What I have been reminded of though is the amount of good will out there and the amount of people behind me, pushing me on, wishing me well. I had a huge, and very encouraging, response to my outburst. A lot of people reminding me that they're on my side and have belief in me. Which is very nice to know.

It reminded me too of the amount of support I've had here in Drogheda too, my hometown. From family, friends, the community, the local newspapers and radio station, the council and arts organisations, both Create Louth and the Arts Centre. And a lot of individuals who can always be relied upon to show up at fundraising events, even if just for five minutes to push a twenty or a fifty into my hand and wish me luck. I can't, nor should I, stay grumpy for too long knowing that that kind of support has followed me. And I am eternally grateful to all those people.

I would say to any filmmaker starting out, first look to your local community, the list mentioned above, friends, family, local council, arts funding, community fundrasiers. Let the local media know you're out there doing stuff. Don't get to bogged down in the national stuff, by all means apply, but don't rely. Keep moving forward and prepare for disappointment and frustration, it's all part of the game. At some point you will feel like quitting. But if you love film enough, that feeling wont last long and you'll be on to your next project, reinvigorated and raring to go.

One film I had hoped to make was a werewolf film. An old school monster movie, set over three nights about a group of people thrown together and trying to survive the weekend. It cheers me up every time I'm feeling down. The script is about 6 years old, so it's been in my head a long time, and because it's set in my hometown I have it visualised to no end. Every angle. Every set piece. And when I'm feeling a bit down I go for a walk to all the locations and I visualise the action and it makes me very happy indeed. Nothing like visualising giant wolves tearing people apart to make you feel better :)

For know, I'll lick my wounds a little longer. Get up off the wall. Climb back up the hill and see if I can find another way in. Write a few scripts. Shoot a few indies.