Thursday, November 23, 2017

Chapter 1

The Cats of the Crescent
Chapter 1
- Slamming Doors -

Emma sat on her bed looking out the window into her neighbours overgrown backyard. The sound of her drunken mother arguing with her latest boyfriend downstairs reverberated through the floor. It was 3am and she had school in the morning. But this was nothing new. She seldom got more then four hours sleep a night. She knew once the argument was over and the doors were slammed she would have to go downstairs and clean up the spilled wine, empty beers cans and turned over ashtrays. Otherwise she’d get it as soon as she came home from school.
BANG! There it was, the first door slammed. Followed by the thunderous rumble of her mother’s footsteps on the stairs and - BANG! The second door slammed. Time to shine.   
Emma creaked out of bed, she was far to young to be creaking, but at twelve years old she often thought that this is what it must feel like to be old, like thirty-four or something. She made her way downstairs to the sitting room where world war nine had just occurred and opened the door to the outstanding disarray her mother had managed to concoct for her tonight. 
“Wonderful,” she said with only the slightest hint of sarcasm, “Thanks, Mam, thanks a lot.” 
And on she marched. Until 4am. Until the birds started to sing. Until the light of morning crept up like an uninvited acquaintance at the most inconvenient time. By then Emma was too tired to make the Everest like trek back to bed and so she pulled a musty blanket that smelled of smoke around her small frame and curled up on the couch and boarded the first bus the Dreamsville.
Morning cracked with a load bang that startled poor Emma awake far too soon for her liking.
“What now?” she said in a raspy grumbling voice. But she knew. Her mother was up. Then came the sound of smashing glass, followed by the delightful sound of her Mother, still drunk, swearing and cursing. 
Emma meandered her way to the kitchen to find her mother, still in her crumpled clothes from the night before, on her hunkers, picking up shards of glass with one hand while holding onto the counter with the other so she wouldn’t fall over. 
“Mam, what are you doing?” said Emma. Her mother looked up, losing her grip on the sink she fell onto the floor. Emma walked over to help her, putting her hands under her armpits and pulling her up.
“Shhhh” hissed her intoxicated mother, “You’ll wake my baby… hic.”
“Your what?”
“Emma, my lil’ buba.” Emma shook her head.
“I’m Emma mam,” she said, “and I’m not a baby anymore.”
Her mother was now on her feet, though probably not for long. Emma looked at her until her mother managed to stop her eyes from spinning for enough time to focus on her daughter. A crocked smile spilled across her haggard face.
“Embub, lil’ Embub,” she managed before throwing up in the sink. It was then that Emma noticed a piece of glass stinking out from her mother’s elbow.
She couldn’t hear anyway. Emma carefully removed the shard from her mother’s arm. Probably not the best thing in the world to have done, so she realised when a stream of blood squirted, as if from a hose, all the way across the room and hit the wall opposite. 
The blood drained from Emma’s face rather then her mother’s, who was oblivious. Reacting quickly Emma grabbed a tea towel and wrapped it around the wound and tied it tight. 
“Ouch!” said her mother and reached for another glass.
“Stop,” yelled Emma, “be careful, you’re cut.”
“Don’t you talk to me like that,” slurred her mother.
“You need to sit down, Mam,” said Emma, trying to lead her mother to a chair. The tea towel was all ready soaking wet and a vivid red.
“I don’t want to sit down,” said her mother, wrenching her arm away from Emma. That’s when the pain hit her and the ever-increasing loss of blood caused her legs to lose their function. Emma was quick enough to get a chair under her and interrupt her trajectory to the floor.
“Mam, where’s your phone?”
“Your phone, where is it? I have to call an ambulance.”
“You’re not getting my phone, you’ll just run up the bill calling your friends.” Emma was all ready rummaging in her handbag.
“I don’t have any friends. Found it.”
“Hello. I need an ambulance...”
“Gimme that phone you little bitch…” Emma’s Mother tried to grab the phone, Emma moved back, out of her reach. 
“Yes… Hello… I need an ambulance to 60 Scarlet Crescent… my mother has cut herself badly, she’s losing a lot of blood you have to hurry…”
“Where is the cut?” Asked the voice on the other side of the phone.
“On here elbow, I can’t stop the bleeding.”
“Ask her mum to hold the wound and keep pressure on it.”
 “She can’t…” 
“Is she unconscious?”
“No, she’s drunk”
“OK, just try to keep her calm. Keep pressure on the wound. There’ll be someone with you soon.”
“OK,” said Emma before hanging up the phone.
“See, I knew you’d be calling your stupid little friends, wasting my money.”
“Just shut up,” snapped Emma, finally reaching the end of her very long and very patient rope. “For once in your life do something to help yourself.”
“Don’t you speak to me like that, I’m your mother…”
“No you’re not! You’re nothing like a mother. You’re useless, selfish, mean… I should let you bleed to death. Maybe then I could have some peace.”
“You ungrateful little bitch. I brought you into this world. I gave birth to you…”
“I don’t know why you bothered. You forget all about me after that part. Motherhood is more then one act of childbirth. I’m surprised I even lived this long.”
“You don’t know how hard it was for me…”
“No, I don’t have a clue, I’m just the one who cleans up your mess at 3 in the morning on a school night, I’m just the one who patches you up because you’re too drunk to do it yourself, too drunk to even realise you’re bleeding.” 
With that the doorbell rang, stopping the argument. A moment of breathless silence hung between them. Emma turned and went to the door. She opened it. Two smiling paramedics, a man and a woman in yellow coats entered the hall. 
“Hello, love,” said the man, “How are you doing? How’s Mum?”
“Been better,” said Emma, “She’s in there,” pointing.
“What’s your name?” asked the woman.
“Emma,” said Emma.
“And your mother’s name?”
“Hello Melda,” said the woman as the two entered the kitchen, both noticing the blood on the wall and the floor. By now Emma’s mother was nearly unconscious. The woman kneeled in front of her while the man gently took her arm. Emma saw them exchange worried looks.
“Can you hear me Melda?” asked the woman, “You’ve had a accident and cut yourself. We’re going to take you to hospital.”
While the man examined the wound he turned to Emma, “Is there someone you need to call love? Another family member perhaps?”
“No,” said Emma, “There’s just us.”
“OK, well, why don’t you pop on a coat and some shoes and come along with your mum in the ambulance.”
“I should stay here. Clean up.”
“I’m sure your mum wont mind the mess.”
“Hah!” scoffed Emma, “You don’t know her.”
“Well, come along anyway,” said the man with a smile.  Emma knew adults, the first time they asked always sounded like you had a choice, but the second time, it usually became clear that you didn’t. 
“OK, I’ll get my coat.”

Inside the ambulance was cramped and cold. The siren made it noisy too. The man was driving and would occasionally smile back at Emma, as if she was supposed to be having a good time or sometime. 
“It’s 4:30 in the morning and I’m taking my drunk injured mother to the hospital,” she thought, “Please don’t smile at me.”
“We’re here,” said the driver.
Inside Emma separated from the paramedics and nurses as they wheeled her mother into a curtained cubical and while they were not looking she took of wandering through the halls. She peered into the darkened rooms and wards at the patients asleep in there beds. She was tired and longed for her own bed. Her eyes were stinging and she found it hard to focus, things blurred in front of her and the strange light and smell soon began to make her head spin. And for some strange reason the floor was rising up in front of her…

Emma opened her eyes to find a nurse looking at her.
“What happened?” she asked.
“We lost you there for a while,” said the nurse, “You fainted.”
“I’m sorry,” said Emma, trying to sit up, until an unspeakable bolt of pain hit her in the back of the head and forced her back down.
“My head,” she groaned.
“Just you lie still,” said the Nurse, “You got quite a knock.”
“Where’s Mam?” 
“She’s sobering up in A&E,” said the nurse looking slightly miffed, “They stopped the bleed and gave her a few stitches, she should be fine.”
“What time is it?” she asked. The nurse looked at her watch.
“Seven,” she said. Emma tried again to sit up. 
“Where do you think you’re going?” said a nurse 
“I have school,” said Emma, “I can’t be late again, I’ll be suspended.”
“I’m sure your principal will understand this time. Now sit, rest. You can go home a little later. We’ll call the school. I’m sure they won’t mind you having the day off.” 
The nurse sat down beside Emma, her face now more serious. Emma suddenly felt very self-conscious.
“Is everything OK at home darling?” asked the nurse and took her hand.
“Why do people think they can call you Darling and Love whenever they want?” she thought to herself, “It’s a bit familiar for my liking.”
Emma gently but firmly took her hand back.
“Everything’s fine,” she said, “Thank you.”
“You know you can tell me,” said the nurse, “I’ll listen. I can help.” Emma shot her a fierce glare.  
“OK,” said the Nurse and smiled and stood, “But if ever do feel like talking, even for just a friendly chat, let me know. OK?”
“Yeah. I will. Thanks,” said Emma, knowing she was lying, “nosey old so and so,” her mind began, “who did she think she was sticking her nose in, assuming I need help…” it rambled on like that for a time. Emma never noticed the nurse leaving and the next time she looked up a demented looking woman stumbled into the room. Her first thought was not to make eye contact with the mad lady, in case she tried to talk to her. Her second thought was realising that is was her mother.
“There you are,” slurred her mother, “They wouldn’t tell me where you were. Come on, we’re going,” she was quickly followed by a young doctor and two orderlies. 
“Mrs. Willard please, you’re not ready to leave just yet,” said the doctor.
“You can’t stop me,” said Emma’s mother, “I’m not under arrest. Come on.”
 Just then the nurse entered the room.
“Mrs. Willard, what are you doing?” she said.
“You mind your own,” said Emma’s mother, “I’m going home with my daughter.”
“Your daughter fainted and banged her head Mrs. Willard, she has a concussion, she needs to be kept her for observation…”
“Don’t you tell me I can’t take my daughter, she’s mine, you hear, mine.”
“Mrs. Willard, please do not force me to call child services.”
“How dare you suggest I’m a bad mother.”
“You are still drunk and you trying to take your daughter from hospital when she needs care. What else am I supposed to think?”
“I’m OK,” said Emma suddenly jumping up and getting to her feet, “I feel fine. Really. The headache is gone. I think I just need to sleep for a couple of hours. You don’t have to call anyone. We’re fine. Thank you. We can go now Mam.” Emma took her mother by the hand and led her into the hallway. Her mother scowled like a stroppy teenager as she swaggered by the nurse. The nurse ignored her. She was more concerned for Emma.

The door of their tiny terrace mess swung open and bounced off the wall with a clatter.
“I need a drink,” said Emma’s mother as she entered and made her way to the sitting room. Emma closed the door and watched her mother shoulder the doorframe as she walked into the sitting room, almost falling over. So she climbed the stairs to her bedroom.
She entered her room and closed the door behind her. The room was sparsely decorated. It lacked any sign that it belonged to a vibrant and imaginative twelve year-old girl, of course, Emma had not been vibrant or imaginative for some time. On the walls were the shadows of posters that no longer adorned her space. She took them down a long time ago, for fear of letting dreams cloud her judgement, letting hope be a false friend. Best not to get caught up with that nonsense. Best just to stay in reality. Last night proved, once again, that she had to be ready for anything. 
She looked at the clock, it was 8:20am - she could still make school. She gathered her uniform. Her white shirt was missing.
“Where is it?” she rummaged in the closet to no avail. She went into her mother’s room, which was a complete mess, clothes everywhere, bed a mess, an ashtray full of cigarette butts on the bedside table and the floor, empty beers can and the smell, horrible and stale. 
“First things first,” thought Emma as she held her breath and made her way to the window, drawing the dusty curtains and opening the window. It was then that she saw Mrs. Stewart from next door drive into the cul-de-sac and park.  
Mrs. Stewart was her next-door neighbour, on the left if you were looking out of the house, right if walking toward it. She was a volunteer for the local animal rescue centre and she looked after the cats. The trouble was that the centre had no facilities so she brought all the cats back to her own house. So there were about twenty cats there at anyone time, sometimes less, often times more. Emma had counted thirty-five once out her bedroom window.
She watched as Mrs. Stewart hurriedly got out of her car, went to the back and took out a carrying crate. She seemed flustered, more so then usual, as she carried the crate to the house. Then something strange happened. As walked toward her house cats suddenly came from all over the cul-de-sac, from every gate, doorway, fence, nook and cranny and some of them, it almost seemed, from nowhere. They trailed after her, forty or more, like some kind of living coat train of colourful fur. It was the strangest sight she had ever seen. And what was more unusual was the fact that all the cats were completely silent.
Emma watched as Mrs. Stewart opened her front door walked inside. Only some of the cats followed her in. The rest seemed to know they were not to follow. They just stood to one side and allowed maybe ten of the others to pass. The door was closed and the others stood watching. Some looked in through the window while the others watched the street.
A beeping sound distracted Emma and she looked to her mother’s bedside table, her clock read 8:30. 
“Damn!” - now she was late.
She spun around, spied a white shirt, grabbed it and ran from the room. 

Emma felt uneasy as she left the house. She felt as if the cats might attack at any minute. As she quietly passed by she felt a sense of unease, a nervous anxiety in the air. All the cats were still, quiet and on edge. Only one of them watched her, a Siamese cat with pale blue eyes, watching her every move as she made her way down her path.

When Emma was a little way clear of the house she broken into a run, only glancing back once to make sure she wasn’t being followed. She was not. But the Siamese was still watching her.

Thursday, November 02, 2017

Permission Slip

The key, the true key to making a film (or anything you want to do) is not waiting for permission. I’ve stalled so many projects, or not made others, waiting for permission. From who? The Irish Film Board, from producers I’ve reached out to who aren’t getting back to me, from readers, from financiers. Waiting for validation, for someone to tell me my script is good, to go ahead and make it. That may or may not come. So don't wait for it. Get your script right, and get to work and go.

Don’t wait for funding from the IFB, you’ll be jumping through hoops for a year and maybe end up empty handed. If a producer isn’t getting back to you, chances are they don’t give a shit about your script. Busy or not, if they liked it, if they were excited about, they’d be on board. Besides, they’re more than likely putting 100% of their time into their own project, which is what you should be doing. Don’t hang around for those people, give them a week, send a follow up email, give them another week, move on. As for readers, take their comments with a pinch of salt, don’t take it personally, if the same problem keeps coming up, you might want to address it. But they’re coming from their life perspective, they have their own thoughts, ideas, ways they’d tell the story, be careful they’re no telling you how they would do it, that’s no help. Be true to you and the story you want to tell, trust your instincts, not theirs. Financiers? I don’t even know who those people are.

Figure a way to get it made for less money. Or, start out with a small idea, you’ll can still make a feature, but keep it contained, be smart, be resourceful. Use what you have to hand, who you have to hand. I did it on Derelict, I made a feature film in one week for €9000. My downfall, the script wasn’t solid enough. Get that right! Don’t rush that part. Then get the film made, get it out to festivals. But quickly move on to the next one, don’t wait and see how this one does, be at work on the next film while this one is doing the rounds. Crowdfund for a little more, maybe five or ten grand. Just get that script right and keep going.

You’re sitting on a great script right now, waiting for permission, waiting for validation, someone to say this is the next Reservoir Dogs, or Little Miss Sunshine, or whatever, you’re waiting for money to come from somewhere, you’re waiting for a funding application deadline, waiting waiting waiting… let me tell you, waiting doesn’t get shit done. Waiting just creates more waiting. Get up, get out, get started. Film is all about momentum. Start today. 

So, what’s the plan? How do you get this off the ground?

Sure, you’re going to need money. Can you shoot it for the money you have? You’re broke. Can you get a grand together? 2 grand? I bet you can. Small crowdfunding campaign. Local event. I’ve written about this before, you can scroll down and find my advice on that. But the point is, you can do it. Is the script you’re sitting on a bigger budget? Does is have car chases, expensive locations, a big cast? How about putting that one further down the line, don’t worry, you’ll get it made, but let's start smaller, a solid two handed drama. A single location crime thriller. A love story set around your town. Lets show everyone you can handle the character based drama the big script needs.

Shoot on your iPhone. "But I'm a purest,” I hear you say “I want to shoot on a real movie camera,” this is where I slap you in the face... you’ll be waiting a long time to afford rental on a RED or and ARRI, shooting in 4K and then posting that stuff. And haven’t we already talked about waiting. Your iPhone has a good camera. You can buy third party video apps to boost it’s capabilities. Take a look at Filmic Pro for example. Just get the sound right and you’re away.

Story is what’s important, this is your training ground, this is where you test everything about yourself as a filmmaker, your creativity, your resourcefulness, your tenacity, your capability. You’re going to learn so much, and everything you do and learn here will be a tool in the toolbox you’ll carry throughout your career. And let me tell you, years go by quickly, I still feel like I’m 25 and starting out… I’m 40! How the fuck did that happen?! You’re going to be asking yourself the same question if you don’t get up off your ass and do it for yourself.

One thing I’ve learned for sure in my 40 years on this planet, no has your best interests at heart but you. No one is going to give up their time and money and months and years of their life so you can shine, you want something done, you have to have to have to do it yourself. Be self-reliant. It’s the only way you’re going to get your films made. You have to trust yourself. If you can’t trust yourself and rely on yourself, you can’t expect anyone else to later on. You need to do this to prove to yourself and others you’re capable, you’re committed, you’re competent, and worthy of investment. 

But all that’s secondary. Right now, it’s about you and your film and getting it made. And if you still need permission, you got it, you have my permission, go make our movie. You still need validation, you got it, you’re good enough, you’re story is good enough, trust yourself, believe in yourself, go make your movie, and then make another one. Let’s not get hung up on the first one.

Start now, make a list of everything you have to hand, everything with in reach, physically and by phone. There’s a film there. You just need to see the puzzle pieces and start putting it together. It’s going to be hard, it might take longer than you’d hoped, but it’s there, it’s possible, it’s real. Your film is a destination in the future. Waiting at the station isn’t going to bring the destination any closer. You just have to board the train. You already have the ticket. Just step on and go. Go. Go, I mean it. Your destination awaits.